When a loved one struggles with substance use but won’t acknowledge the problem or seek treatment, it can be heartbreaking for anyone hoping to help. Addiction is a complicated disease with many ups and downs. Quitting is difficult to do.
Remember that hope isn’t lost with an initial rejection of treatment. There are still some things that can be done.
Get educated about drugs and alcohol
It’s been said that you can’t fight an enemy you don’t understand. Thus, one of the most essential things you can do is to take steps to understand substance use and addiction. Signs of addiction include:
Bloodshot eyes, pupils larger or smaller than usual
Changes in appetite or sudden weight loss
Changes in sleep patterns
Deterioration of grooming or physical appearance
Impaired coordination
Unexplained changes in attitude or personality
Sudden mood swings, irritability or angry outbursts
Anxiousness or paranoia
Engaging in secretive or suspicious behaviors
If a loved one is addicted to drugs or alcohol, it is essential to understand what the person is struggling with and why quitting is so hard. Simply deciding to stop taking drugs or using alcohol isn’t a decision. Addiction is an illness.
While it may be difficult to cope with the actions and behaviors of someone who is addicted, it’s important to recognize that addiction isn’t a reflection of morality or a person’s character. Chemical and physical changes within the body can cause someone who drinks or uses drugs socially to slip into addiction.
Set boundaries
Sometimes, in the hope of assisting someone with a substance use disorder, loved ones can cause more harm by enabling them. This may not even happen intentionally. While providing financial assistance to a loved one with an addiction is a kind gesture, this might positively reinforce bad habits and substance use.
Loved ones may also make the mistake of covering up the addiction. They make excuses about why someone with a substance use disorder doesn’t show up for school, work, important appointments or family gatherings. Sometimes, parents or significant others will do homework or help a person with a substance use disorder with professional work. This “help” only enables them because they never have to face the consequences of their actions due to substance use.
When someone with an addiction refuses treatment, it is vital to set consequences. For example, stop offering to pay the rent and don’t provide a “loan” for groceries.
If the person with an addiction is a teen still living at home, remove privileges and follow through on punishments. Depending on how severe the addiction is, you may even consider the drastic step of contacting authorities and having the addict arrested. Consequences are necessary and must be recognized before any change happens.
Take care of yourself
While the addicted individual may refuse treatment, it does not mean you must simply sit and suffer from the situation. You are not alone. Groups such as Al-Anon, Narc-Anon and other independent support groups are worth joining to learn more about addiction and living with an addict. Individual or family therapy can also provide mental and emotional support and healing.
When someone rejects treatment, it can be challenging for everyone who cares about them. It’s important to find assistance and emotional healing for yourself. Doing so can also help with the strength and energy required to try to get someone who is addicted to consider treatment again or possibly accelerate attempts with a more aggressive approach, such as an intervention.
Coping with addiction or helping a loved one who is addicted can be difficult, but it is not something you must do alone. Contact your EAP for guidance.
